Somehow when your a parent you never really think about your children growing up. You just kind of think they will always be a constant.
Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I moved my baby boy-who somehow managed to become 16 and a half into a dorm room three hours away from me.
I encouraged him to go to this place, I nugded him when he became unsure. Some may think that since I enabled it I don't get to be sad. But it sure hurts to look at his room and know he doesn't live there anymore.
I am very proud of him. He is attending the Mississippi School for Math and Science for his junior and senior year of high school. It is a Mississippi public school, the catch it is residential. He can come home on weekends, holidays and summers. This past year 273 high school sophmores applied and 123 got in, he was one of them which is very special.
MSMS will be a great place for Tony, the perfect place for a kid like him, but I it's taking all my effort not to go back there and bring him home. I gave up on holding back the tears-wasn't working anyway.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Domestic Zoo Keeper at Large
I wrote this several years ago for a Mississippi Public Broadcasting Commentary. It was not choosen. Now thanks to the blogoshere I can subject ya'll to it anyway. It is a bit dated now as my "princess" is now in second grade and my "pre-teen" drama is now a young man headed into the 11th grade. Zoo keeper still unsure of her role and misses the days of stay-at-home bliss, but for some reason my children won't stay one age!
The Commentary:
People often ask me how I can be a stay at home mom; they generally say it would be so boring. The life of a domestic zoo keeper is anything but boring!
My son just started his first year of junior high and the pre-teen drama is at its peak-it’s like having your own private soap-opera—and yes junior high is just like you remember it! I would say more but at this moment he is turning off every radio within earshot due to the mortifying embarrassment. I definitely will not discuss the years of living in “Dinosaur World” that we endured-we’ll chalk that up to great material for the future writer that devourers more books than food!
On the other end of the spectrum there is my just turned four year old daughter-who generally refers to herself as a princess! There is never a dull moment in the daily world of Edye! I mean how many homes have a stuffed ladybug that is really a kitty named Tenderloin Radish?
In what world, besides that of a four year old could you hear the very true tale of Ralph the Mermaid Snake who has a twin who is a fish? Where else can you learn that things we accept as they are, seem arbitrary to the resident four year old. Like the time Edye was learning her colors and decided that we had just picked Green as our last name and began insisting that she was Edye Purple—she then decided if she could pick her last name why not her first as well and began insisting that her name was Rosie Purple and if you have met her you know that if I introduce her as Edye there is a loud rebuttal-invoking “Rosie—you are supposed to say Rosie!” We won’t even talk about the times she wishes to be called random things such as “Mr. Hammer Grandma”.
Edye has been known to read to any audience from her “Thomas Book”, a blank journal with no words on the page—this became a problem once when she said to my husband-oh, Daddy you read the next part—but luckily Daddy still has a fairly intact imagination!
What gets me through the day—the healthy imaginations that live in my house. How could I ever be bored I spend half my day in another world-a beautiful imaginary place and the other half living in high pre-teen drama! Next year Rosie Purple starts school and the pre-teen will have become a full-fledged teenager. Until then I will live my days in another world- Rosie Purple and high pre-teen drama-their world-and I will cherish every moment! The question is where exactly do I go next year when school begins? What becomes of the Domestic Zookeeper who has no animals?
The Commentary:
People often ask me how I can be a stay at home mom; they generally say it would be so boring. The life of a domestic zoo keeper is anything but boring!
My son just started his first year of junior high and the pre-teen drama is at its peak-it’s like having your own private soap-opera—and yes junior high is just like you remember it! I would say more but at this moment he is turning off every radio within earshot due to the mortifying embarrassment. I definitely will not discuss the years of living in “Dinosaur World” that we endured-we’ll chalk that up to great material for the future writer that devourers more books than food!
On the other end of the spectrum there is my just turned four year old daughter-who generally refers to herself as a princess! There is never a dull moment in the daily world of Edye! I mean how many homes have a stuffed ladybug that is really a kitty named Tenderloin Radish?
In what world, besides that of a four year old could you hear the very true tale of Ralph the Mermaid Snake who has a twin who is a fish? Where else can you learn that things we accept as they are, seem arbitrary to the resident four year old. Like the time Edye was learning her colors and decided that we had just picked Green as our last name and began insisting that she was Edye Purple—she then decided if she could pick her last name why not her first as well and began insisting that her name was Rosie Purple and if you have met her you know that if I introduce her as Edye there is a loud rebuttal-invoking “Rosie—you are supposed to say Rosie!” We won’t even talk about the times she wishes to be called random things such as “Mr. Hammer Grandma”.
Edye has been known to read to any audience from her “Thomas Book”, a blank journal with no words on the page—this became a problem once when she said to my husband-oh, Daddy you read the next part—but luckily Daddy still has a fairly intact imagination!
What gets me through the day—the healthy imaginations that live in my house. How could I ever be bored I spend half my day in another world-a beautiful imaginary place and the other half living in high pre-teen drama! Next year Rosie Purple starts school and the pre-teen will have become a full-fledged teenager. Until then I will live my days in another world- Rosie Purple and high pre-teen drama-their world-and I will cherish every moment! The question is where exactly do I go next year when school begins? What becomes of the Domestic Zookeeper who has no animals?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
MaMa vs. Mosquito! Skills You Learn in the Delta
At 3:23am this morning I was awakened by a gentle tapping on my arm.
Edye: "Mama, there is a mosquito in my room."
Me: "Let's go see about it"
So half asleep, bleary eyed and without my glasses I follow her to her room.
Me looking around: "Where did you last see it?" At this point I am thinking there is no way I am going to find this tiny mosquito after it has run off to hide-especially half asleep and without my glasses!
Edye: "In my bed, bugging me."
Me: "Why don't you climb back in bed and I'll "(stalling to come up with plan to convince her to sleep in her bed with said mosquito in room)
Then all of a sudden wham! bang! slam! I got 'em just above the bed!
Edye "Thanks mama, I can sleep now!"
Off I went stubble (still not awake) to wash my hands of the bug in question and rest my head until 6:30am feeling like a hero--at least to Edye!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Lake
Last Saturday we went to a friends lake house to say goodbye to Sarah as she heads to Chicago for a new adventure. In spite of the sadness of the occasion we had a great time!
Edye had never been in a lake before and while I wasn't real keen on getting in, I figured that wasn't really a good enough reason to deprive her of the experience. So in we went. She loved it, used her new swimming skills (in addition to the life vest) and was actually quite difficult to keep up with. She even jumped in from the deck at one point-saying it was great, but she did not think she'd do it again!
Evenually all the Greens were in the water and a good time was had by all. Someone brought a kayak and Edye and I took a spin around the lake together and then Tony and I went out together, but soon decided it might work better if Tony tried it solo. Jay also went out in the kayak and now all the Greens are seriously considering getting one of our own! Would have soooo easy with the wagon with the rack on top-I miss that car!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tenure -The Holy Grail of a Professors Life
For a professor tenure is a big deal! Holy grail might be a bit strong-there's always full-professor!
As defined by the Institute for Higher Learning (the big wigs who govern the state colleges of Mississippi) tenure "serves the best interests of the faculty and the University by protecting faculty members from dismissal... In our society we regard the acquisition of knowledge to be of paramount importance; and society, through enlightened self-interest, provides the University as a place for teaching and learning. Tenure in universities provides protection that scholars require and serves society’s aspirations that scholars should have freedom of expression."
So Jay (John) received tenure in June! Yippie! Now he can continue being the radical that he is with a certain measure of safety! He was also promoted to Associate Professor!
To mark the occasion, his wife (me) had an elaborate plan for a surprise party that amazingly everyone actually kept the secret and he claims to have been geniuely surprised to find out that Sarah's going away party was actually his tenure party!
We decided to view it as funny rather than a tragedy that the local bakery spelled tenure "tensure" and put a bad imitation of Cookie Monster rather than Jay's favorite muppet Grover on the cake! We even sang the tenure song-there was no speech-Dr. Green said now that he had tenure no speeches were required-Alkie chastised him for "pulling the tenure card already".
We had guests from far and wide (facilitated by Jolana's wedding the same weekend). Thanks to Katie and Jon for making time during your visit from DC and to Anna and Roger for driving in from Louisiana and convincing Jay's this was the only weekend for the carpet installation and of course the carpet! All the folks who drove in from around the Delta.
Many thanks to Cameron, Sarah, Amy, Emily, and Emily's Jay for the cooking. Thanks to everyone for keeping the secret!
As defined by the Institute for Higher Learning (the big wigs who govern the state colleges of Mississippi) tenure "serves the best interests of the faculty and the University by protecting faculty members from dismissal... In our society we regard the acquisition of knowledge to be of paramount importance; and society, through enlightened self-interest, provides the University as a place for teaching and learning. Tenure in universities provides protection that scholars require and serves society’s aspirations that scholars should have freedom of expression."
So Jay (John) received tenure in June! Yippie! Now he can continue being the radical that he is with a certain measure of safety! He was also promoted to Associate Professor!
To mark the occasion, his wife (me) had an elaborate plan for a surprise party that amazingly everyone actually kept the secret and he claims to have been geniuely surprised to find out that Sarah's going away party was actually his tenure party!
We decided to view it as funny rather than a tragedy that the local bakery spelled tenure "tensure" and put a bad imitation of Cookie Monster rather than Jay's favorite muppet Grover on the cake! We even sang the tenure song-there was no speech-Dr. Green said now that he had tenure no speeches were required-Alkie chastised him for "pulling the tenure card already".
We had guests from far and wide (facilitated by Jolana's wedding the same weekend). Thanks to Katie and Jon for making time during your visit from DC and to Anna and Roger for driving in from Louisiana and convincing Jay's this was the only weekend for the carpet installation and of course the carpet! All the folks who drove in from around the Delta.
Many thanks to Cameron, Sarah, Amy, Emily, and Emily's Jay for the cooking. Thanks to everyone for keeping the secret!
My Summer Vacation
The Green's headed back to Decatur last week in the new Focus! Our mission: clean out Judy's (Jay's mom) garage and remodel kitchen!
To start the trip off right we got bluff seat tickets to watch the Memphis Redbirds vs. New Orleans and spent the night in West Memphis. It was a great game the Redbirds won and relaxing on the lawn with my family was nice after a hectic week!
We arrived on Saturday, assesed the project, went to Lowes to gather supplies, the first of many trips to various hardware stores including Ace, Mt. Zion, Lowes and Menards, Forsyth and True Value, Decatur!
Sunday:
Judy and I took on the yard with mower and weed eaters while Jay started moving furniture and things out of the kitchen. The kids were off with other grandparents for the day!
Monday and Tuesday:
Judy and I with some help from Tony spent cleaned out the garage-we rented a dumpster and everything! Even item in that garage has now been discussed, tossed, donated or -if staying catergorized and placed in it's proper place! While I did not threaten my mother-in-law-we did discuss how to avoid accumulating stuff-just say NO!
Judy and the kids went to the library to replenish their book supply!
Jay again with some help from Tony began ripping out the old linoleum floor, this took for ever! By Tuesday night the floor was up and the primer was down and walls patched and ready to paint!
Wednesday:
Jay and I laid the new vinyl tile while the kids went to see Kung Fu Panda. Pugsly came to pick up his dumpster and Judy worked on various projects. Jay, the kids and I headed over to Keith & Jamie Brooksher's house for steaks and to catch-up since we had not seen each other for about 5 years! Jay went to high school with Keith.
Thursday:
Jay had the house to himself to paint the kitchen. Judy, the kids and I headed out on a daytrip to Indianapolis to have lunch with my best friend and Tony's godmother, Kelly.
Friday:
Little touch up in the kitchen paint, re-did a smaller table found in the garage to put in the kitchen to give Judy more space. Moved all furniture back in and celebrated the 4th with Krekel burgers! Yum! Watched the fireworks on the lake from the front yard! Went back to the hotel tired!
Saturday:
Judy met us for breakfast and we hit the road for the 10 hour trip home. We stopped for a picnic in southern Illinois for lunch and Memphis Pizza Cafe for dinner and made it home by 9:30pm!
What we learned:
While the shows may claim to do it in 48 hours I am very suspicious, maybe if we'd had a crew at our disposal-but we sure did get a lot done in one week!
You can cook anything in a hotel kitchette if you try hard enough-we had pasta with bolonese sauce, fajitas, and pasta with chicken and veggies!
The Hawthorne Suites in Decatur has great breakfasts, there was actually a real person cooking real eggs, potatoes, bacon, etc each day!
Now we need to start on a few projects at our house!
To start the trip off right we got bluff seat tickets to watch the Memphis Redbirds vs. New Orleans and spent the night in West Memphis. It was a great game the Redbirds won and relaxing on the lawn with my family was nice after a hectic week!
We arrived on Saturday, assesed the project, went to Lowes to gather supplies, the first of many trips to various hardware stores including Ace, Mt. Zion, Lowes and Menards, Forsyth and True Value, Decatur!
Sunday:
Judy and I took on the yard with mower and weed eaters while Jay started moving furniture and things out of the kitchen. The kids were off with other grandparents for the day!
Monday and Tuesday:
Judy and I with some help from Tony spent cleaned out the garage-we rented a dumpster and everything! Even item in that garage has now been discussed, tossed, donated or -if staying catergorized and placed in it's proper place! While I did not threaten my mother-in-law-we did discuss how to avoid accumulating stuff-just say NO!
Judy and the kids went to the library to replenish their book supply!
Jay again with some help from Tony began ripping out the old linoleum floor, this took for ever! By Tuesday night the floor was up and the primer was down and walls patched and ready to paint!
Wednesday:
Jay and I laid the new vinyl tile while the kids went to see Kung Fu Panda. Pugsly came to pick up his dumpster and Judy worked on various projects. Jay, the kids and I headed over to Keith & Jamie Brooksher's house for steaks and to catch-up since we had not seen each other for about 5 years! Jay went to high school with Keith.
Thursday:
Jay had the house to himself to paint the kitchen. Judy, the kids and I headed out on a daytrip to Indianapolis to have lunch with my best friend and Tony's godmother, Kelly.
Friday:
Little touch up in the kitchen paint, re-did a smaller table found in the garage to put in the kitchen to give Judy more space. Moved all furniture back in and celebrated the 4th with Krekel burgers! Yum! Watched the fireworks on the lake from the front yard! Went back to the hotel tired!
Saturday:
Judy met us for breakfast and we hit the road for the 10 hour trip home. We stopped for a picnic in southern Illinois for lunch and Memphis Pizza Cafe for dinner and made it home by 9:30pm!
What we learned:
While the shows may claim to do it in 48 hours I am very suspicious, maybe if we'd had a crew at our disposal-but we sure did get a lot done in one week!
You can cook anything in a hotel kitchette if you try hard enough-we had pasta with bolonese sauce, fajitas, and pasta with chicken and veggies!
The Hawthorne Suites in Decatur has great breakfasts, there was actually a real person cooking real eggs, potatoes, bacon, etc each day!
Now we need to start on a few projects at our house!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Shout Out To My Village
Hillary's right it does take a village to raise a child!
Last May Jay took a group of students from Delta State University and University of Michigan to Biloxi for research and mom went to Memphis for chemo. I had Edye and Tony on my own for a week. I realized how it really takes all three of us to raise my kids when I was on my own. I had to seek out other members of the village to get people where they needed to be-granted it might be easier if the kids were closer in age and had the same place to go!
I began to think about how over the years it has taken a number of family and friends to raise these kids. I want to shout out a thanks to them all.
Robert, Randall, Valerie, Peyton, Whitney, Stacey, Renee, Lisa, Tracy and Zach, Bryce and Jenny, David and Kendra, Donna, Sarah, Emily, Shari, Paul, Amy and Mark, Mom, Dad & Dixie, Beth, Brandy anyone who ever watched my kids or shuttled my kids out of love, family, friendship, carpool or coop-babysitting.
Last May Jay took a group of students from Delta State University and University of Michigan to Biloxi for research and mom went to Memphis for chemo. I had Edye and Tony on my own for a week. I realized how it really takes all three of us to raise my kids when I was on my own. I had to seek out other members of the village to get people where they needed to be-granted it might be easier if the kids were closer in age and had the same place to go!
I began to think about how over the years it has taken a number of family and friends to raise these kids. I want to shout out a thanks to them all.
Robert, Randall, Valerie, Peyton, Whitney, Stacey, Renee, Lisa, Tracy and Zach, Bryce and Jenny, David and Kendra, Donna, Sarah, Emily, Shari, Paul, Amy and Mark, Mom, Dad & Dixie, Beth, Brandy anyone who ever watched my kids or shuttled my kids out of love, family, friendship, carpool or coop-babysitting.
A special thanks to Tony while we have tried hard not to make him Edye's third parent (only one diaper change) since he's 9 years older. We recognize and thank him for the loving attention he gives to his sister, for walking her home from camp, for watching her when mom and dad are out walking, for knowing she is safe with you when we are at the honors banquet or some other DSU function. I don't have to worry when Edye's with him-what will we do when he moves out? Mom how is your schedule?
I am sure there are safe babysitters out there but no one compares to family and friends!
Thanks village!Friday, June 20, 2008
Speaking of Mom's-My favorite job!
I love being a mom and a wife, it gives me more pleasure than anything-even though I love my job, but if a had to make a choice today there would be not contest--hands down--mom--all the way!My husband really is my best friend and my son Tony at sixteen is also one of my close confidants, though he'll be the first to tell you that doesn't cloud my judgment when he's in trouble, just ask him about the hole in his wall (no mom this is not comparable to the one I put in the wall at 15!). Edye at seven keeps us all in giggles-and has almost from the moment she was born! Tony used to say that we had her to entertain the rest of us!
I recommend having your children almost 10 years apart, mine are very close, Edye kind of worships Tony and Tony is a great protector. Don't get me wrong they do fight and usually over something stupid, but they also play, read, and draw together! Sometimes there are challenges, Tony has play practice from 6-9, Jay is teaching from 6-9 and Edye goes to bed at 7:30pm-who is picking up Tony? But the benefits outway the complications!
Randon Thoughts on Cancer
We all know that many people who survive cancer take it as a sign to live life to the fullest! Some decide to take a trip they'd always meant to go on and some decide to spend more time with family.
How many do you think decide that it is high time they bought an embroidery machine? Well that's what my mother has decided to do! Don't get me wrong, buying something you've always wanted to do something you love is a great way to celebrate recovery!
I just didin't expect the statement that started with "I've learned some things from this experience and there is something to be said for not waiting to do the things you want to do"....to end in "so I'm buying and embroidery machine!"
So yippie for mom! and bring on the embroidery for one and all!
How many do you think decide that it is high time they bought an embroidery machine? Well that's what my mother has decided to do! Don't get me wrong, buying something you've always wanted to do something you love is a great way to celebrate recovery!
I just didin't expect the statement that started with "I've learned some things from this experience and there is something to be said for not waiting to do the things you want to do"....to end in "so I'm buying and embroidery machine!"
So yippie for mom! and bring on the embroidery for one and all!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Jay's 36 Hour Tuesday
Four planes and and 36 hours after beginning his Tuesday morning in Shanghai Jay finally made it to the Memphis airport! [Most of ya'll already know this still means a 2 hour drive home]!
I must say I was very glad to see him! There were several times throughout the day when delayed planes and tight connections led me to believe it might drag out until Wednesday. Luckily I had a hotel room in Memphis and I hung out there until his plane arrived almost two hours late at 11:58pm.
After a short night in Memphis we have made it home and he is doing his very best to stay awake until tonight to help with adjusting from the 13 hour time difference. [I put a certain 7 year old on the job.]
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